Let It Go

I think everyone can agree that there has been a detrimental occurrence in life that has made them cocoon theirselves in a big comfy blanket and cried.

**Since this is a public forum I'm leaving out names and places.**

I decided to forgive and try to forget all of the bad things that had happened. Of course we can always accept an apology from another person, but it's what's next that's important: actually forgiving.

I was at lunch with an attorney I work for and we were talking about the drama in our lives and then she asked about mine. I brought up a story of when I was younger, a guy who I was truly in love with (and dating) began dating someone else and ended up getting married to her. I cocooned myself and cried. Cried at the smallest things. I was heart broken.

It was awkward at first talking to him, I was at the receiving end of a call from him crying hours after they were married, he text messaged me after that, and ended up getting an annulment a week later (not because of me or anything I said, but it was an argument between them). A few months later he sat down with me and really apologized. I said "I forgive you". I was really, really angry at him.

Even though I said the words I forgive you I actually didn't. I still had so much built in anger. So much hurt. and so much sadness.

A few years later my wounds were healed and I forgave him. It took a lot of tears and screaming but I FINALLY was able to think about the hurt without crying or getting angry. I was able to move on.

My supervisor was surprised, to say the least, when finding out that I eventually forgave him. At first she didn't understand. It wasn't a fake forgive, it was a real one. I've moved on, I don't think about it anymore unless someone brings it up.

Many people accept apologies verbally, but not mentally or emotionally. I don't think it's fair to say "I forgive you" without actually forgiving them within yourself. If you end up getting back together as friends or romantically, it's not fair to either one of you.

Letting go of the hurt has really helped my happiness. I am able to smile and laugh while we're in the same room, verses before I wanted to strangle him or I'd give him the evil eye anytime he looked my way.

I can wholeheartedly say that I'm happy that I've fully forgiven him.