Sometimes we come across things that we aren't supposed to see; whether its an email, a text message, or some other form of documentation. Once we see these things by snooping or inadvertently coming across it, it can be hurtful. Is it ever good to read it or search for more? I know a lot of people look through their partner's phones to see if they are staying true to the relationship.
I was an assistant to a girl at a radio station I used to work for, I thought we were friends and she was very nice and sincere. One day she was out of the office and called me and asked if I could look for something in her sent box. That's when I accidentally saw where she had been talking about me to her then fiance. It was basically talking about my lack of intelligence and that I was a slow learner. Of course, I could never confront her on that because I accidentally saw it, however, I never respected her the same again. The accusations weren't true. I remember asking her a few days later if I needed to work on anything and how I was generally doing, no response was given to me. No constructive criticism. If anything, what she stated are actually my best qualities, considering I went from a newbie legal assistant to a paralegal in 8 short months. Shortly after coming across that email, I left and started working where I am currently employed.
I have never been one to snoop in other people's things. Its rude and I wouldn't want anyone to do it to me. Its not that I have nothing to hide, but I could have been venting or speaking out of context about something else--which could be highly misinterpreted.
In the past, I have come across my boyfriend talking to another girl. After my heart sank a little bit, I did decide to read the entire chain of emails. I was disheartened in what I saw but the key is to pick your battles. I didn't confront him about it, but I did keep her name in my memory bank to use if it did happen again.
After seeing what can sometimes not be forgotten, you have to choose what to do with the information you have. Psychotic rampage? Interrogation methods? I wouldn't do either of those, but I think it's good to see why your partner is talking badly about you, when the time is right.
If you see your partner talking to multiple people, I think drastic measures should be taken. Not psychotic ones, but maybe decide if the relationship is really what you want.
A lovely quote from the wall flower "we accept the love that we think we deserve".
I know that no one deserves to be second best or twenty-seventh best. You should be the best to someone and your special someone should be number one to you as well.
Don't be a door mat but remember to use the information you have wisely.
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