1. Delete delete delete:
Go through your laptop/computer, phone, Facebook, and emails and delete EVERYTHING. My ex was deployed for about 2 years of our relationship, and we sent back and fourth *thousands* of emails. I deleted them from my "boyfriend" folder and my sent box. I deleted his text messages, his voice mails, and any trace of him. Do this step once you're ready. I did this week 3 into my break up. I made a lot of friends when we dated. However, most of them were his co-workers or the wife of a co-worker. Once we broke up, I broke up with them too. It's sad, but it's not fair to put them in an awkward position. There are a few girls he works with that I'll miss, but it's not something that was fair to put anyone in the middle.2. The drunken text message:
You should not only delete your ex from your virtual world, but from your phone contact list as well. You don't want to start to text the first three letters of their name and then their contact info comes up and they wake up to a pathetic/lame misspelled message from you. You'll forget their number soon enough. Or... try my next tip.3. Boo! Ghosting 101:
My ex is the Storm Shadow equivalent in the mind ninja arena. He knows which buttons to press to make me sad or angry. It's the type of button that he knows will simmer in my head until I go all Miranda Lambert and want to burn everything he owns. I find that people like this are toxic. After we broke up, I mistakenly didn't block him from calling me. If your ex is known for pushing your buttons or being a mind-ninja. It's time to ghost him/her. Ghosting simply means that they have no way of getting in contact with you and you don't inform them that you are blocking them.
Block your ex from everything. I touched all of the basis: Facebook, Text Messaging, Email, Instagram. When I was in DELETE, DELETE, DELETE mode I blocked him at the same time.
I have AT&T and I signed up for smart-limits which allows me to block numbers. If you don't have this option, you could change your telephone number so an ex can't contact you.
4. Me, myself, and my sanity:
If you find out that you ex has already moved on to someone new, block him/her too. I have had crazy new girlfriends contact me. The first time my ex and I broke up (2009), his new "girl" non-stop contacted me. This time when we officially broke up, forever. I moved out, and he instantly moved a girl back in. Come to find out, she was *Facebook stalking me*. winner, winner. Block the new person so you aren't contacted, make your Facebook where only friends can message you. Even if you are intrigued to do a little Facebook stalking, it's not worth it.5. Make a list:
If you have mascara running down your face and you think of all of the good things about your horrible ex (like I did) make a list of how shitty he/she was and how it made you feel. When your ex reaches out to you to contact you and there's a slight chance of hope to rekindle..don't do it. There is a reason why the relationship didn't last. Don't try to super glue your broken vase, there are too many missing pieces. They shouldn't be contacting you anyways, if you blocked them.
6: Wanna play a game of 21 questions?:
Many people will find out that you broke up and will want to ask 21 zillion questions. Don't talk about your break up to any ear that will listen. Really think who you want to confide in. Also, if these questions are crossing the line and you don't want to answer, simply tell the person. I told a lot of people "It's not something that I want to talk about, when I'm ready, I'll tell you". You don't have to ever tell them. Unless you want to. I just added the last part so I didn't make them feel bad.7: Over and out:
You have to realize, it's time to move on. It's over. I'm 25, we dated on and off for 5 years. I've known him my entire adult life. We had some really horrible moments, but we've had many good ones as well. Take the time to heal and work on yourself. Were there things that he hated to do? Do them. Was there places he never wanted to go? Go there. Do what you want to do. Focus on YOU.
The "Let's keep in touch" or the horrible "Let's be friends" is a absolute no. Your ex is drug, you're in rehab. Pretend you're in a 6th grade DARE class. *say it with me children* JUST SAY "NO".
8: Judge Judy 101:
My ex owed me money and we also had purchased cars and pets together. I paid for many household items which I couldn't take (i.e. furniture). I could take him to court to fight it, but I decided that I didn't want to have any more contact with him. It wasn't worth it anymore. I didn't want an excuse to reach out to him. Is a few thousand dollars worth being insane for months on end? No. Is it worth arguing and fighting about little things? No. I decided to cut my losses and move on. Bringing a court action won't make us get back together. It won't solve things or resolve unanswered questions. It will make each other resentful. I learned the hard lesson of being dependent on someone else and the "make believe". It's not like you can take your ex to family court, possibly to small claims court--but where could you really go? There's not a People-who-can't-commit-but-they-play-house court.The flip side: If you owe him/her. Just give it to them. It's not worth it. At least have it in writing that you mutually agree that you owe him/her nothing. You don't want to get sued. yikes.
9. Pretty, pretty princess:
I haven't gotten to do this step, but I'm excited to do so. Get a makeover! Shape your eye brows, cut your hair (I must remind myself: No bangs!!), get your hair highlighed, try a new makeup style, pick up some cute clothes, or sassy shoes. Feel good about yourself. It's a little shallow, but who cares?! You're looking after you now, and you like the new "you".10. Family and Friends:
Sometimes being around people who actually love you, will help the healing process. After I was happy about my one month anniversary of being single, my kind-of Aunt said that I wasn't "single" but I was Independently Owned and Operated. My sister makes me laugh by putting funny memes on my Facebook wall, or she sends me funny texts when I get ready for work in the morning. My parents have been nice and supportive to me. I'm thankful for my family and friends who have been there with me.
And....a quick list of don'ts: Don't "blow up" his/her phone with text messages and calls, don't Facebook stalk, don't set their house on fire, or key their car, don't tattoo his face on your butt, or shave your head. It's a bad idea. Act like a lady (or gentleman) and pull yourself together.
Remember, have a great time!
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